Starting Over

I drove the30 miles from Park City to Salt Lake this morning. I had already made a reservation for the Radisson so I meandered around downtown trying to find it. With street names like S 300 W and E 500 to go by it wasn't easy. Why not just first, second....till the end of downtown? I finally made it and checked in. They were the first hotel I can remember that actually listened to the requests I had put in online such as highest floor with view and quiet room. I got a room on the top floor at the end of the building. Great!

The room works and there is a great view.

There is even a genuine Herman Miller chair in the room. I've never seen that. Very cool.

I decided to go to P.F. Changs to eat since today is my 36th birthday. I got there and there was the cutest hostess ever. She was probably 18 or 19 and I thought about how I could really be her dad. Especially in Utah when they crank kids out young. That is nuts.

On the way home I decided to stop in this bar a guy in Park City told me about. I thought it might be cool to step in for a few minutes. I had 2 beers, talked to a few people and just thought, what the hell am I doing here? I felt like I should be able to conjure up some serious enthusiasm like other people in the bar and get all excited and happy to be there. What was wrong with me? Some were doing shots and dancing around like they just turned 21. I couldn't do it. I could have given a shit about being there. I just don't really care about bars much any more, especially by myself.

Spending my birthday alone pretty much sucked. I know I chose to leave when I did but I just realized being in that bar that that is no way to spend the day. Oh well, it's over now and I'm on to the next thing.

I had a really good talk as always with my friend Dallas in DC. He and I talked about being happy in life and how that is related to giving to others and being in some kind of service. I know I have been very selfish in my life and it is definitely not natural for me to offer what I have to offer to others. I know it is the next step for me and I know that I get to start contributing something to the world. I'm not sure what but I know that I have to get out of myself and live an other focused life.